


do u like me (check yes or no)

by tamerofdarkstars



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Cotton Candy Fluff, F/M, Gift Giving, Post-Game(s), Pre-Relationship, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, like seriously this is just fluff, these two are middle schoolers and they're ruINING MY LIFE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 13:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11737812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamerofdarkstars/pseuds/tamerofdarkstars
Summary: What do a newly minted corporate executive and a rookie Vault Hunter have in common? Neither of them knows how to properly use their words, of course.Or, the one where Rhys and Fiona get each other sentimental presents post-game instead of having a conversation about their feelings.





	do u like me (check yes or no)

**Author's Note:**

> this game has taken over my entire life. someone help these poor poor children i just want them to be happy.
> 
> This fic was inspired by O. Henry's famous story "Gift of the Magi".

“Y’know this weren’t easy t’ get.”

Ugh. This guy’s breath stank. The alley stank. Everything stank. Fiona shifted her weight to her other foot and stared down the bandit, who grinned back at her with a mouthful of rotting teeth. As she watched, one detatched itself from his gum and fell with a plop into the mud at her feet.

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh.

“I know. Now hand it over.”

“Now, wait wait wait jus’ a sec, there, pretty lady,” the bandit sneered. “Price has gone up. Had t’ fight off Psychos for this thing.”

“That’s not my problem. We agreed on a price.”

“Call it a finder’s fee.”

In a flash, Fiona’s wrist gun was out and in her hand, pointed dead between the bandit’s eyes.

“We agreed,” she said, low and dangerous, “on a price.”

The bandit glanced at her gun, unimpressed. Then he turned his head and spat into the mud.

“Now, hang on there, lady,” he said, eyeing the weapon. “I think you ‘nd I can come to an arrangement.”

Fiona didn’t flinch. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

-

Rhys leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers, and stared across the desk to the man sitting in the chair.

_Project power_ , he told himself. _Feel the CEO. Feel it in your blood. You are a **badass.**_

“So?” he asked, examining the man. The man rolled his shoulders back and cracked his neck and probably half his spine. Yeesh, he was huge. Why couldn’t he have contracted a slightly smaller, less terrifying guy?

“Yeah, I got it,” the man said finally, folding his arms across his chest. Rhys tried not to look at how the guy’s arm muscles bulged huge under his shirt. He failed.

Damn. This burly adventurer could probably snap him in half without breaking a sweat.

Wasn’t that… something to think about.

“Alright,” Rhys sat forward, folding his hands and resting them on the desk. “Let me see.”

The man snorted. “Nah. How’s about you show me the money first.”

Rhys rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because I got tons of cash just lying around my office. Give me the item and I’ll deposit your fee into your account. That was our agreement.”

“How’s about you stop assuming I trust anything you corporate Skag-lickers say and just pay me what I want.”

Hm. This was not exactly going the way Rhys wanted.

He shoved himself back from his desk, standing up and walking around it. The man’s eyes tracked him like an animal as he paced his office, hands behind his back.

“Alright,” Rhys said finally, turning to face the adventurer-for-hire. This was the last time he trusted a Pandoran billboard, that was for sure. “I have a proposition for you.”

But the guy wasn’t looking at him anymore. He was eyeing the wall behind Rhys’ shoulder. Rhys glanced over his shoulder at it. It was, in fact, a very nice wall.

He called it his Memory Wall, but only where Vaughn couldn’t hear him and make fun of him. He’d felt like the office needed something when he’d moved in, and the last thing he’d wanted was to get too wrapped up in the corporate life again that he forgot what it felt like to defy death with the Pandoran desert sun burning his skin and his friends at his sides.

“What?” Rhys asked and the adventurer cracked a wide grin.

“Let’s make a deal, Atlas,” he said.

-

Resurrecting a defunct and destroyed corporation from the ground up turned out to be a lot of work. Rhys worked long hours, dragging himself home exhausted and collapsing into bed until Loader Bot, who was the most unsympathetic alarm clock/roommate on this side of the galaxy, woke him up again in the morning. Half the time he fell asleep across his desk, drooling onto his keyboard. Those days Gortys would come buzzing her way into his office, chirping at him to wake up and face the sunshine and he’d grumpily go downstairs to dredge up some decent coffee and work the crick out of his neck.

But today Rhys powered down his computer an hour early, a bounce in his step as he slipped out of his office.

“Come on, Gortys!” he called, slapping the bio-lock on the door.

Gortys purred over to him, bumping into his shins. “Hi Rhys!” she chirped, tipping her head up at him. “Is it finally time to go?”

“It’s finally time to go.”

“Yay!” She buzzed around in a happy little circle. Rhys smiled down at her as they headed down the hallway.

He couldn’t blame her – he was excited too. He missed Sasha and Fiona, and while he saw Vaughn more often than the girls, it definitely wasn’t to the same frequency as when he could just stroll down the hallway at Hyperion and drag Vaughn away from the accountants for a snack and a bitch session.

But tonight they were getting together, the four of them and August and Athena and Janey. Friends were rare on Pandora. Hell, friends were rare everywhere, and Rhys missed his. He’d admit it.

“I’m so excited! Do you think everyone will remember me? Do you think they’ll recognize me? We haven’t seen them in such a long time!”

“You’re pretty hard to forget, Gortys,” Rhys said with a grin. She trilled happily.

“I can’t wait to see Fiona! Not that I don’t like working with you, Rhys, but I miss Fiona! She’s so nice and fun and smart!”

Rhys’ stomach gave a happy little jump. “Yeah. I miss her too.” He reached into his pocket and brushed his fingers along the top of the little package wrapped up in brown paper.

It was growing dark by the time they reached Scooter’s garage. It had been a unanimous decision to meet back up in Hollowpoint, despite the creepiness and the skulkinesss and the general ick factor, back in Scooter’s garage, in honor of the friend they’d lost. Luckily, Rhys only had to dodge a few Psychos on the way, sneaking around them and up a few more than sketchy alleys before slipping into the warm, brightly lit garage.

“Hey, there’s our little corporate scumbag!” Janey cooed, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. He grinned at her as Gortys went zipping off into the garage, beeping happily at Loader Bot, who’d somehow managed to beat them there.

“Hey, Janey. How’s the married life?”

“Still perfect! Come on in. Shoes stay on. There’s food over on the workbench. We’re piled up over there.”

Rhys stuffed his hands into his pockets, fingers brushing the wrapped box tucked against his thigh again as he followed Janey over to the where the group was gathered around a big old scarred table in the corner. They looked up when he approached.

“Ladies,” he said grandly, sweeping his arm out to the side and giving a little mock bow.

“Dork,” said Sasha, shoving herself to her feet. She stepped in for a hug and he wrapped both arms around her, squeezing tight and lifting her up off the ground.

“Shrimp,” he said fondly, putting her back down. She punched him in the shoulder.

They settled themselves back around the table. Sasha sat back in her chair, kicking her feet up and resting her ankles on August’s thighs. August’s hands came down and rested on her shins. Rhys hid a smile as he pulled out a chair and fell into it as the conversation picked back up.

“Well, look who decided to descend from the corporate throne.”

Rhys glanced to his left. Fiona’s lips were curved up in a smile, her chin in her hand, her hat tipped low over her forehead. Rhys felt the corner of his lips lift in response, an involuntary smile back. Damn, but he had missed seeing her face.

“Hey, sometimes I have to grace my loyal subjects with my presence,” he joked, and she rolled her eyes, knocking her knee against his under the table. Neither moved, leaving their knees resting against each other.

“Rhys, my buddy bro, how’s the office treating you? You sweating money yet?” Vaughn leaned forward and Rhys fist bumped him.

“Easy breezy. Plus, you know, Gortys is the world’s best robot secretary and I, of course, am still awesome. It’s a piece of cake.”

Janey settled herself down next to Athena, who leaned over and kissed her wife on the cheek. “Awesome is a stretch, kid,” Athena grunted and Rhys reeled back in mock horror, clasping a hand over his chest.

“I wake Rhys up when he falls asleep and drools on his keyboard!” Gortys chirped proudly. Rhys groaned and his friends laughed.

It was good to be together again. Rhys felt warmth curling in his chest that had nothing to do with the alarmingly sketchy alcohol that August and Sasha had produced from somewhere unknown, matching evil grins on their faces, and poured around the table.

He kept glancing at Fiona, feeling the weight of the box in his pocket. He really hoped he didn’t have to give it to her in front of everyone. That would just be embarrassing.

The food and conversation flowed long into the night, until finally everyone was yawning.

“Ohhh is it time for sleep? I’ve never slept! Should we try sleeping?”

“It is a human oddity. Pay it no mind.”

“Alright, LB, I think that’s enough for one night,” Rhys yawned, reaching out and brushing Gortys on the top of the head as she skittered by at Loader Bot’s heels. “Some of us have day jobs.”

“Oh, boo hoo,” Fiona laughed and he shot her a wry smile.

One by one, they peeled themselves away from the table, a chorus of sleepy “good nights” and “see you laters” and “try not to die on the way homes” floating between them as they headed out the door into the street in front of the garage. It was fairly deserted, the heavenly bodies bright enough above to light their way.

“Catch you later, man,” Vaughn said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Sash and August are gonna give me a ride back. You and the bots good to go?”

Rhys gave his friend a tired smile. “Yeah. Might just go back to the office, honestly. Gotta be in early in the morning anyway for a meeting with a Pangolin exec.”

“Harsh.” Vaughn’s brow creased. “Don’t forget to take care of yourself, Rhys.”

“Psh, come on, Vaughn, it’s me we’re talking about here!”

Vaughn sighed. “I know. That’s why I worry, you deranged self-sacrificing lunatic.” Vaughn looked up into his face and squeezed his shoulder. “Just get some sleep. And good luck with Pangolin tomorrow.”

Rhys fist bumped him and Vaughn headed over to where Sasha and August stood waiting. Rhys raised a hand in farewell to them, and they waved back.

He dropped his arm. Now to find—

“Rhys!”

He turned. Fiona stood in the pooled light of a street lamp leaning crooked above her. She smiled at him and Rhys’ heart skipped a beat.

She was unfairly beautiful and he was unfairly bad at this.

“Hey,” he said softly.

He’d thought, maybe, when they were standing in front of the Vault…

Fiona’s jaw had been set. _Stay away from Sasha_.

He’d all but come out and said it! How had she not gotten the hint?

_I’m… interested in someone else._

He’d wanted nothing more than to kiss her, standing there in the weird purple light from the Vault Gate. They’d fought through so much together, seen so much, survived so much.

But despite all the monsters and betrayal and certain doom, losing Fiona still ranked number one as the scariest thing that Rhys could imagine happening to him on Pandora.

So he’d kept his mouth shut and his hands to himself and they’d walked forward together into the Vault.

Fiona folded her arms across her chest. “Hello? Rhys? You look like you’re a billion miles away.”

Rhys shook his head, snapping his attention back to the present. “Sorry. I was just… thinking.”

“Well, don’t hurt yourself.”

“Oh, ha ha. I, uh, I won’t. So.”

There was a short, sort of awkward silence. Rhys plunged his hand into his pocket while Fiona fiddled with the end of her sleeve, picking at a hole in the fabric.

“Uh,” Rhys began, just as Fiona lifted her head.

“So, I—”

They stopped, laughed, and Rhys motioned to her to go first.

“Alright, so, I just thought...” Fiona chewed on her lower lip. “Look, this is real awkward and dumb and don’t freak out or anything—”

Rhys snorted. “Not really the way to start a conversation if you don’t want me to freak out.”

“Can you just…” Fiona shook her head, hard, like she was trying to knock thoughts out of her head. “Here. I… got you something.”

She shoved a long box wrapped in brown paper at him.

Rhys looked down at it, stunned. When he looked back up at Fiona, she was flushed scarlet, staring down at a crack in the sidewalk like she could set it on fire with her mind.

“Fi,” he said, looking back down at the box. Fiona cleared her throat.

“Look, I just… well, I mean, after everything that happened, and… with Gortys and the Vault and… just, just open it, ok?”

Rhys slid a finger under the taped down edge, then paused.

“I, uh, this is actually kind of funny.” He pulled the little box out of his pocket and stepped closer, holding it out to her. “I got you something too.”

Fiona blinked, examining the box in his hand. She reached out and took it.

“Why?”

Rhys ran his fingers through his hair. “Just, like you said. After everything that happened...”

Fiona studied the box, then she smiled.

“Together?”

Rhys smiled back, helpless. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

They tore into the packages.

Rhys got his box opened first, tugging the top off and peering inside. A slim piece of metal sat in the bottom of the box. He raised an eyebrow and picked it up.

“This is Hyperion tech,” he said, staring down at the familiar logo etched on the handle.

“Unfortunately.” But Fiona was grinning. “It’s an upgrade. For your stun baton. Hyperion tech doesn’t really mesh well with other tech, so it wasn’t easy to find. You know, since Hyperion is, uh, no more.”

“Wow.” Rhys laughed softly, shaking his head. “Open yours.”

Fiona pulled the top off the box and blinked. She pulled the small gold cylinder out of the box and examined it.

“It’s also an upgrade. For your pistol.” Rhys reached out and plucked it from her fingers, turning it over to catch the street light and show her the designs. “Felix customized the hell out of that thing, but I found a guy a couple of towns over who does custom metalwork and—”

“Rhys.” Fiona’s voice was quiet. “It’s beautiful, but...”

“But what?”

Fiona sighed. “Rhys, I… kind of traded the pistol.”

Rhys stared at her. “You traded it? But you love that pistol! What the hell could you have possibly wanted more that you’d trade away your gun for?”

Fiona opened her mouth, then hesitated. A shoot of color crossed over the bridge of her nose and she reached up to tug on her hat.

Comprehension dawned on Rhys. “You didn’t. For this?”

Fiona folded her arms. “I told you it wasn't easy to find,” she mumbled.

Rhys looked down at the baton upgrade in his hands and couldn’t help himself. He started to laugh, the chuckle building low and warm in his throat.

“Are you _laughing_ at me?” Fiona asked, whip sharp outrage masking the hurt in her voice, and Rhys shook his head, trying to smother the laughter.

“No, no, no, I’m not laughing at you, Fiona, no, this is… it’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me, honestly.”

“But?”

Rhys acknowledged the ‘but’ with a small smile. “But, I uh, I don’t have my baton anymore.”

Fiona looked taken aback. “I thought you had it hung up on your Wall of Memories or whatever that you like to pretend you don’t have in your office.”

“It’s a Memory Wall, first of all. Secondly, I… sort of, traded it. For something.”

Fiona opened her mouth when her expression changed, the confusion melting away into surprise. She looked down at the pistol upgrade in Rhys’ hand. “For that?”

Rhys held it out to her and she took it. “It wasn’t easy to get either,” he confessed, a bit sheepish.

For a beat, Fiona just stared down at the upgrade in her hand. Then, she chuckled. “Look at us,” she said, shaking her head. “I should have known it wouldn’t be as easy as Sasha said.”

“As Sasha said?” Rhys put the lid back on the box. Fiona looked uncomfortable.

“She… gave me some advice. The whole gift-giving thing was… well, it was my idea, but she said it was a good one.”

“Why were you asking Sasha about—”

“I wanted to tell you—”

They stopped, laughing awkwardly. Around them, the Hollowpoint night life hummed along. Somewhere in the distance, a car backfired and around the corner, a Psycho shrieked a stream of unintelligible mangled cussing.

“You go,” Fiona said finally.

Rhys chewed his lip. He’d had a plan – a big epic sort of confession. Give the gift, bask in her wonder and amazement and adoration, and then swoop in and tell her… well. Tell her that he missed having her by his side.

Tell her what he’d wanted to tell her at the Vault Gate.

But the words stuck heavy in his throat, making it hard to swallow. He cleared his throat painfully. “Fiona.”

She raised an eyebrow, color still dusting her cheeks.

“I just… look, the gift had kind of an… ulterior motive.”

“What kind of ulterior motive?” Fiona sounded suspicious and Rhys hurried on.

“Do you remember the Vault? What I said back at the Gate when you threatened to sever a limb if I talked to Sasha again?”

Fiona scowled. “I never said that.”

“Well, it was implied.”

Fiona rolled her eyes at him. “Yes. You said… you were interested in someone else.”

Rhys nodded. His heart was in his throat. Why was this so difficult?

“I still am,” he managed to croak out. Fiona looked puzzled.

“Okaaay… and you’re telling me this why?”

Rhys licked his lips and ran his cybernetic fingers through his hair. “I… because, well, I mean...”

Words. Words would be good. Come on, Rhys, what’s the worst that can happen? She punches you in the neck again?

Or she never speaks to you again and you lose her forever. Also an option.

“Spit it out, Rhys.”

“Look, I like Vaughn, right?”

Fiona opened her mouth, then closed it again. “Vaughn?”

Rhys blanched, his brain catching up to the sentence. “No, no no no, wait. I meant… I meant Vaughn’s my friend, right? So is Sasha. And August, I guess, and Athena and Janey.”

“I have no idea where you’re going with this, Rhys.”

“I’m saying,” Rhys stepped forward, just a little closer into her space. She raised an eyebrow at him, but didn’t move away. The pistol upgrade winked brightly in the light from where it was clenched in her hand. “I’m saying that I like those guys a whole lot. They’re like family. But I… I wouldn’t have traded my baton to get any of them a present.”

Fiona was silent, processing his words. “So why did you for me?”

Rhys’ throat felt drier than the entirety of the Pandoran desert. “Seriously? You’re gonna make me spell it out?”

Fiona looked up at him and he caught the look in her eyes. Something a little bit hopeful and a whole lot suspicious and guarded. Like she thought she knew what he was trying to say but was refusing to let herself believe it.

Rhys let his shoulders drop. “You know I wanted to kiss you back there, right? At the Vault?”

Fiona stared at him. “You _what_?”

Rhys winced. That hadn’t been a good tone in her voice. He forced himself to keep talking, staring down at the cracked dirt beneath his shoes instead of at her face. “I said someone else, but I meant you. I thought you’d get it. Figured I’d been hinting at it pretty hard. It’s… it was always you. That I was, uh, interested in. You know. In a kissing sort of way. If that’s OK.”

He trailed off. Fiona was silent and he immediately imagined the worst. “Please don’t hit me.”

“Hit… you absolute _moron_.”

He looked up. That hadn’t sounded angry. Not in the slightest. She’d breathed the insult at him and when Rhys met her eyes, he saw that she was smiling.

He let out a relieved, shaky breath, smiling back.

Fiona shook her head. “Sasha’s been telling me for weeks to just come talk to you. I guess, according to her, I got… a little, uh, grumpy. Without you around.”

Rhys broke into a wide grin. “Aww, you missed me too!”

“Oh, don’t get all full of yourself.” Fiona tried to scowl, but that silly little grin kept breaking through. For a moment, they just stood there, grinning helplessly at each other.

Rhys ducked his head, rubbing at the back of his neck. “So, uh…” He glanced at her. “You… like me too?”

Fiona chewed on her lip and that bright shoot of color glowed across the bridge of her nose again. “I guess you’re not completely terrible. You know. For being a corporate scumbag.”

Rhys laughed softly. “I’ll take it.”

There was a beat of silence as they both grinned at the ground, too embarrassed to look at each other.

Fiona looked down at the pistol upgrade in her hand. “It’s too bad I don’t have my pistol anymore,” she said, turning the tube over in her hand. “This looks awesome.”

Rhys popped open the lid of the box in his hands and examined the baton upgrade. “Yeah, I’d have really liked to see what this could do.”

A slow grin was spreading across Fiona’s face. An “i’ve got an idea and you only might like it” sort of grin. “Hey, Rhys. You have any vacation time saved up?”

Rhys pretended to ponder the question, tapping his chin with a finger. “Hm, you know, being the CEO of the company, I think I can take a few days of leave. What did you have in mind?”

Fiona waved the upgrade at him. “I’m thinking I agreed on a price. And my pistol was not originally part of that agreement. And I’m thinking I want my stuff back.”

“You know,” Rhys said, reaching for her hand. She took it, tangling her fingers up with his. “I was thinking something very very similar.”

Fiona squeezed his hand, watching the way the lines around his eyes crinkled as he smiled down at her. “Together?”

The look Rhys gave her was nothing short of adoring. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> And then of course it takes them several more weeks to work up to a kiss because they're not quite sure how feelings work. They'll get there. I believe in them. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
